Starry Skies, but Hold the Ugly Sweaters

It’s that time of year when knowing your priorities is extra-important. Will you dash around trying to accomplish everything, meeting expectations you’ve set for yourself about how much you can do and also how well you’ll pull it off? Will you go along with cultural norms just because they’re out there?

Or, will you be content with not focusing on either the quantity or the quality of stuff (whatever you perform, whatever you wrap up, etc.) and instead try to maintain a positive, even peaceful state of mind — the kind that might even glow out for others when you’re with them? And while you’re at it, will you, eschewing the quest for any kind of perfection, behold beauty wherever it appears and do what you can for the people who, despite what the calendar says, are struggling in some way, and those dedicated caregivers who stay with them?

This is now sounding like vows someone might take before assuming the office of Good Guard for the Holidays.

In trying to maintain what’s best about this time, we must do a fair amount of deflecting — like hockey goalies — some of the messages that come at us every day.

Smoke From The Chimney Only, Please

For instance, as I was driving up to school the other morning, past the enormous but not exactly inspirational New Hampshire Speedway with two entrances a mile apart, the station I briefly listened to played an ad about some smoke shop in Massachusetts that claimed to be “your stocking stuffer headquarters.” Whaaat? Last I checked, stockings were mostly for the youngest among us, the ones who peer into the living room jumping up and down with excitement, eager for new trinkets. The very idea of tobacco products in one of these bright red things was revolting. Easy as it was for me to reject the guy’s message, the voice coming into my car also reminded me that we each get to think for ourselves about what does and doesn’t enhance the value of Christmas, or any holiday celebration we engage in.

Opting Out Is OK

In the “doesn’t enhance” department, at least for me, is this whole movement, which seems to be gaining popularity.

While I don’t begrudge anyone else their right to go wild with ugly sweaters, I prefer to opt out. I have a few questionable sweaters — patches of different colors, for no reason — passed on to me by my mother which are hard to part with; I definitely don’t have room for ones that can be worn one day of a year.

For the holiday assembly at school, I gamely used masking tape to attach scraps of wrapping paper and bows to a fairly ugly, non-Christmas blue with red and white stripes number (sorry, no photo) but I was really just going through the motions, trying to stay with the crowd. I loved watching both the teachers vs. students dodgeball and the limbo competition (need only two people holding a yardstick!) in the gym that day, but, perhaps knowing that I had no chance of winning, I didn’t hang around for the sweater judging.

Caring for Others, Always in Season

On the other hand, I was happy to spend a Saturday morning making gift packages for both my sons, since we won’t be seeing them until a couple of days after Christmas. Whipping up a batch of cookies took longer than I’d anticipated, but I made a strategic stop at exactly one downtown store after that, and then I arrived at the promised land of the post office.

How I love going in there with various items that I can stuff into those big cushioned envelopes; exchanging pleasantries with people doing the same thing; seeing that the line is in fact moving nicely; getting the satisfaction of hearing that, by Tuesday, my sons should return home to find these packages on their respective stoops. (One got his Monday, the other – Thursday, so it evened out).

My daughter, who arrived home a few days ago, sent this image to us all recently. It just so happens she’s in Social Work school now, too, so that might have something to do with the sentiment she’s endorsing. You can learn more about the artist, Molly Costello, here: https://www.mollycostello.com/

What appeals to me most about here is the juxtaposition of particular relationships with the enormity of the night sky, sparkling with stars. When we are conscious of having one another in some way, the vastness of space doesn’t daunt us quite as much, and we can better face huge challenges closer to home, too.

Sometimes, when people we love are ailing, just mailing a package won’t be enough. If geography or other factors prevent us from being caregivers ourselves, we are so grateful for the people who do the “right there” caring, day in and day out. Their devotion lights up the darkness.

Ingenuity in the Hallway, Bringing Joy

Staying in the “does enhance” department now, and also as it happens, with the starry night theme too, I’ll close with something that lifted my spirits, by surprise, while I was walking down a hallway at school.

This magnificent work of art on the door of a French classroom (part of another holiday competition) was created by a group of savvy students who figured out how to make the sweet scene come to life, with turning orbs and blinking lights, using some kind of battery packs or motors which were visible on the other side of the door. Talk about an illustration of how to put knowledge to work! To me, this might have been an act of magic; like the best kinds of holiday gifts, it prompted a sense of awe and wondering in the beholder.

What brings you most joy through these days? What have you learned to pay less attention to, making room for true treasures?

I wish you all a wonderful turning towards the New Year, every time a kind of miracle.