We Can’t All Be Expert Gear-Shifters

Sometimes a glaring contrast can be the vast difference between the skill level we want and the skill level we have. Yes, we can practice and practice — an instrument, a sport, say — and then often make remarkable progress. Other times, though, if the skill is not something we absolutely must have, if gaining it doesn’t radically enhance our daily lives, we’re wise to shrug off our crumminess, cope with this particular area of mediocrity, thereby freeing ourselves to seek — if not always find — excellence elsewhere.

I’ll be interested to learn if you’ve had any such reckoning recently, because I have.

Is it the Bike, or is it Me?

Now that it’s bicycle season again, my blue and white Fuji is ready to hit the roads. The specific model is a “Newest 4.0.” When I look it up, I see that it was new back in 2011– same year I bought my computer (living on borrowed time, no doubt).

Last summer or fall, I forget which, I had a couple of frustrating rides characterized by jerking gears: just as I thought I’d shifted properly into a new one, the chain seemed to object or stayed ambivalent about getting in its proper position: hemmed and hawed. As a result, I began to question my ability to make good decisions about how to manage the sophisticated machine in all its parts, as if I were the conductor of an orchestra leading the professional violinists and horn players astray.

The truth was, I was riding without an in-depth understanding of how the left side and the right side gears are supposed to make beautiful music together.

After getting a cable tune-up and some coaching from a local bike specialist (other than my husband, for obvious reasons), I felt a tad more confident, although still uneasy about my ability to, as he suggested, look down at the derailleurs — nice French spelling there; I never knew — while I’m riding, to make sure that there’s no trouble, that the two chains are not at cross purposes or something.

Whaaaat? Is this what people expected I’ve been doing all along? Because I haven’t. Sheepishly, I asked the most proficient bike-riding population I knew (husband and two sons; daughter, who works out hard in the gym, rides a three-speed bike joyfully around her neighborhood, always ready to wave to neighbors, is definitely not checking her derailleurs) whether this looking down at the chain habit is de rigeur.

They said, well yes, we definitely do that…and tried not to imply that I was screwing up.

A Winter Reprieve, Then the Same Ol’ Thing

As winter closed in, I had to acknowledge that I had not convincingly conquered the gear-shifting challenge; a degree of randomness — smooth riding vs. jagged riding — still prevailed. But that problem faded as I used the stationary bike (my other one, a hybrid kind, with front wheel off) that my husband had kindly set up for me in our basement, near the shelves holding my former dollhouse and his former Lionel train set.

Probably there are more than just the two different gears I found here, as I gazed out at rain and wind and snow and darkness, but those two worked just fine while Michael Jackson or the Beatles or the Temptations sang me through some decent workouts.

Still, riding a bike in one’s basement falls far short of, come the soft breezes of May, riding one on beautiful New Hampshire roads. So I set off on my first Fuji ride with high hopes that my old problems were behind me, that the gears would find their perfect roles, clicking right into place almost without my instructions. But alas, sometimes our shortcomings keep yapping at our heels: once again, just as I thought I was really rolling along, the damn jerking happened again, just enough to be annoying — like a persistent buzzing mosquito.

Back I went to my coach, and this time he suggested, with great compassion, that I might try using just the right side shifter (or, wait, was it the left?) to eliminate complications. Now, if I wanted to get my feathers all rustled up, I might have reacted by saying something like, “Heck, no! I need to be able to tap into the full potential of this bike, because I’m an intelligent person and an athlete, besides.”

But really, I was just grateful that he was offering me a practical strategy that could relieve anxiety. Because, I don’t know about you, but I have enough anxiety just doing all the other off-the-bike stuff. Finding a key route to sheer enjoyment? Show me the way.

New Rides In My Future

And it just so happened that, right in his driveway the other day, I re-met a nice woman I had already known a little bit, from right here in town, and she suggested we team up for biking. Even invited me to consider doing a multi-day women’s trip in a beautiful part of Vermont. Hmmmm, the possibilities! No new fancy gravel bike needed; I’ll just get the basement one out, put the front wheel on, trust in those sturdy two or three gears, and toss it in the car.

The Fuji’s feelings won’t be too hurt, I’m hoping; besides, I’ll try my new simplified way of riding that one, too, keeping expectations modest. My husband, who regularly heads out for spins of 30 miles or so, has asked me if I want to ride with him !!! — not the whole 100 miles, but still — for a special event this August in the White Mountains called “The Highs and Lows Tour” which will support the work of NAMI (National Alliance for Mental Illness). Here’s the site for registration, if you’re interested: https://highsandlowstour.com/

So, whatever relationship I have with my gears, I’m determined not to let their crankiness (or my own less than expert ability) impede my bicycling pleasure. It must have been Rob who snapped this photo of me while we were on our honeymoon, on Eastern Long Island.

When I look at it now, I recall just how happy I was then and see no reason why, whichever bike I happen to be on, or not on, I can’t feel much the same tranquil way again. That is, when I’m not working hard on those hills — real ones, and other ones, too. You know the kind.

Are you striving to gain a new skill? Accepting where you’re at with an old one? Having a time of renaissance with something you’re suddenly enjoying more than ever? I’d love to hear from you.